Mothers Day Church Talk Extended Cut: 22 Women in the scriptures and my family history

 This is the talk I gave in church on Mothers day. When I gave the talk, I cut about a 3rd of it for time, so this has a few more examples and a little more elaboration in some parts. Funny enough, at the pulpit, I didn’t even mention my wife!

Also worth noting for the history books: I heavily reorganized the talk a few hours before church. Then I gave my phone to my son to distract him while I was on the stand. I brought my laptop with me to give the talk but then realized that I’d never brought my laptop to church before so it didn’t have access to the wifi and therefore didn’t have access to the new draft in google docs! So I started this talk by freaking out a minute and asking the bishopric for the wifi password. 

Eve, whose birth is the crowning event of six initial periods of creation, and who saw beyond the literal conditions set before her to imagine and then attain a better world.

My Sixth Great Grandmother on my father’s side, Johannetta Elisabetha Mai, who left her German homeland with by the invitation of Catherine the Great to become an early settler in Russian colonies along the Volga river. 

Her Third Great Granddaughter, who is my third Great Grandmother, Anna Marie Grasmick who left the Volga Colonies to settle in Idaho in 1908 where her family would join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Neither of these women could have known if they would be successful living by the sweat of their brows on foreign soil, but they, like Eve, imagined a better world. 

Their descendant, my Grandma Shirleen Chandler, put both butter and mayo on her sandwiches, couldn’t stomach chicken, having slaughtered them as a chore as a child. When we’d visit her in California, she was always awake first, and I have fond memories of peeling oranges with her in those early hours. Once though, I woke up too early, and I walked in on once without her wig or her teeth, and the image is still burned in my memory.

Asherah, a mother God in the consort of Jehovah. Archaeological evidence and biblical sources indicate that she played an important role in the worship practices of pre-exilic ancient Israel. We know very little about Asherah worship, like we know very few correlated doctrines about a heavenly mother, but the difficult and rewarding work of understanding the nuances of ancient religious practices and our relationship with the divine feminine continues to unfold. 

My Grandma Elaine Murry, who has seven daughters.. It is sometimes hard to separate her in my mind from the image of near-perfection my mom and aunts project of her. Her loss is deeply felt almost a decade later. I love my Grandma, and it is of no doubt she was an exemplar of compassion, gentleness, and nurturing love, but I do sometimes wish I knew more about her, especially about aspects of her life that aren’t as glorious. I have memories of her, but sometimes those memories get overshadowed by the last moments of her life, moments that were extremely painful for our family and which continue to unify us in grief. She also sometimes gets overshadowed in my mind by my grandfather, who is a very (how do I say this) bold personality. I don’t know. I know this isn’t a super satisfying bit about a woman very close to me in my family history, but that’s what I’ve got for now. 

Co-wives Adah and Zillah, who  in the Bible give birth to the 7th generation on earth, a numeric symbol of the society’s completeness. Their children are recognized as patron ancestors of tent-dwellers, ranchers, and musicians.

My 4th Great Grandmother, Mariah Huntsman Leavitt, who’s family’s cows were grazing in the mountain meadows when mormon militiamen disguised as native Americans massacred a company of Arkansas immigrants resting in the long grass. She cared for a young boy in the company who hid in a cedar tree while his family was murdered. She fiercely denied that her husband, Dudey Leavitt, participated in the massacre, a historical detail like so much about that horrible event that remains unclear. 

Hagar, who is the first person in scripture to name God. She gives him the name “El Roi” which means “God of Seeing.” 

My 5th Great Grandmother on my mom’s side, Mary Ann Brown Pulsipher, who spoke at her 80th birthday celebration. “I Suppose I am the oldest person here 80 years old to day—have been in the Church over 47 years—have passed thro the Persecutions, Mobings and drivings with the Saints since the days of Kirtland. I rejo ice that I am worthy to have a name and place with this people—” 

Rebekah, who received revelation contrary to what had been revealed to her husband, the prophet Isaac. And who infamously tricked the trickster Isaac to fulfill the will of God. 

My Mom, Angela Chandler,  who, like Rebekah, is a fabulous liar. On the first of April before I left for my mission, I created a fake girlfriend on Facebook and announced that we would soon be moving into an apartment together. I fooled almost no one, but my aunt called our land line distress. My mom did not miss a beat and led my aunt on for a half an hour on that call about how “It all happened so fast,” and “I just don’t know what got into him.” My aunt literally sobbed on the line about how special her mission was and how much I’d be missing if I chose not to go. I could not believe how masterful and cunning, and let’s face it, evil my mom’s performance was before she revealed it was all an April fool’s prank. Of course, she’s all the other things you could want out of a mother, but her wicked sense of humor and her full-throttled commitment to a bit is one of my favorite things about her. 

Hebrew Midwives Shiphrah and Puah, who were compelled by Pharaoh to kill all hebrew male babies they helped deliver, and who feared God more than Pharoah and spared the childrens’ lives. God’s protection of these women and blessing of them with families of their own is the first marvel of the Exodus. 

My Great-Grandmother Charma Waite, who was married to a total of 9 husbands. One husband, my great-grandpa biologically speaking, she discovered had a girlfriend in Las Vegas where he spent much of each week for work. When she asked for a divorce, he held her at gunpoint and told her to go into the house where he intended to kill her. In her history, she writes, “I felt my world was toppling away, so I told him to go ahead and shoot me right there, I didn’t care anyway, I had to finish washing his clothes and ironing them so he could take them back to work with him.” He lowered his gun and walked away, and she went to the courthouse to begin her own Exodus from a sad situation. 

The Daughter of Pharaoh, who is the Bible’s first successful financier. She famously went down the bank of the Nile and withdrew a little prophet. 

In all seriousness, the Daughter of Pharaoh didn’t ask to be the mother of the prophet who would free Israel. And we don’t know much about this woman, like we don’t know a lot about many important women throughout history, but we know she somehow rose to the challenge of raising up a Moses within the very gates of oppressive power. 

My Grandfather, who’s name is Burdett Chandler, but who was identified as a “surviving daughter” in his father’s published obituary. Finding and working to fix these kinds of errors in my family’s historical record has been a unique joy as I’ve attended the weekly Family History Power hour. No matter your experience level with family history or the amount of genealogical work that has already been done, I highly recommend committing time to research and update your family history, and the power hour is an extremely easy and available opportunity to do so. 

My wife, Daniela, who never ceases to amaze me with her perspectives on the world, her parenting genius, and her superhuman sense of smell which can identify if I’ve eaten anything pickled in the last month, no matter how much toothpaste and mouthwash has separated the incident from our most recent kiss. 

We hear a lot about women being natural nurturers or that certain qualities are part of the innate character of womanhood. And I don’t want to discredit the existence of inherent spiritual gifts that may have a direct link to one’s gender identity. But I think perhaps a more helpful framework for a woman’s purpose is this teaching of President Thomas S. Monson: 

“Now, some of you may be shy by nature or consider yourselves inadequate to respond affirmatively to a calling. Remember that this work is not yours and mine alone. It is the Lord’s work, and when we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help. Remember that whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” 

I don’t think every woman has been given some identical calling of motherhood in this life, but I do believe that for women who are called to be mothers and women who are called to a vast array of other divine purposes, be their impact bold and broad, or quiet and specific, whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies. 

To this I testify.