14 Old Testament Passages that Affected me Most this Year +Brief Commentary
I don't know if I would pick these as my "favorite" every time, but these are the scripture passages that ran through my mind involuntarily the most throughout 2022. They are the verses that stuck with me long after I was done reading their section of scripture.
“Deep and terrifying darkness”
“As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram, and a deep and terrifying darkness descended upon him.” (Genesis 15:12)
After being promised repeatedly that the land of Canan would be his, the first dream-revelation of the Bible is the dark truth that the promises of God are sometimes only found long after the trial of faith and even after life extinguishes. Reading verses like this sucks because I fear that darker periods will last much longer than I want or that I am led to believe they will. But there’s also a bittersweet comfort in knowing that these feelings were shared by believers from the beginning.
The God of Israel
“Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day is breaking.’ But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go, unless you bless me.’ (Genesis 33:26)
In contrast to the “wait upon the LORD rhetoric in much of scripture, Jacob becomes Israel by demanding and literally wrestling his blessing from the hand of God. And God relents. There are lots of contradictory frameworks for God in the Hebrew Bible, and I’d like to think that worshiping the “God of Israel” is in a way hearkening back to this one.
Heart hardening God
“And the LORD said to Moses, ‘When you go back to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders that I have put in your power; but I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go.”
I hesitated to put this one on the list because I have no positive spin for it (At least not one that I find convincing). The idea that Pharaoh didn’t let the Israelites go because God actively hardened his heart–not that his heart was that hard in the first place–comes up several times in Exodus, and that theological idea comes up elsewhere in the Hebrew Bible too. And I hate it every single time. You’re telling me, if God didn’t harden Pharaoh’s heart maybe he would have let them go after the first curse? The most clear justification in the text itself of this behavior is that Israel needed to know, unequivocally, that it was the LORD who rescued them, not their own strength, but I still hate it. And I’m annoyed with extra-textual ways around stuff like this. When it comes right down to it, the Bible is just not univocal. There are voices that are great and voices that are kind of evil, and most of the voices are somewhere in between. I’d weather wrestle with the reality of that than sand out all the roughness of scripture until it all fits what I think God is really like.
“A prophetic frenzy”
“Now when these signs meet you, do whatever you see fit to do, for God is with you. . . As he turned to leave Samuel, God gave him another heart; and all these signs were fulfilled that day. When they were going from there to Gibeah, a band of prophets met him; and the spirit of God possessed him and he fell into a prophetic frenzy along with them. When all who knew him before saw how he prophesied with the prophets, the people said to one another, ‘What has come over the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?” (1 Samuel 10:7, 9-11)
The story of Saul is underrated, in my opinion. His rise in this passage is inspiring to me because of the “prophetic frenzy” I’m jealous of, and the promise a few verses earlier that after a dramatic transformation, Saul’s deeds would be God’s deeds always. Saul’s fall and the way we usually frame it infuriated me in Sunday School the week we discussed it but inspired teachers and peers helped me come to a nuanced epiphany about it. I don’t think Saul fell because he wasn’t authorized to make sacrifices. I think he fell because he oriented his privilege as an agent of the LORD toward his own benefit instead of toward the work of God. Believers will always have to make similarly difficult choices when there’s nuance in the commandments. And what they do with that nuance can reveal where their real loyalties are better than anything else.
“For such a time as this”
“Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, ‘Do not think that in the king’s palace you will escape anymore than all the other Jews. For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for such a time as this?’” (Esther 4:13-15
Ugh. Why do I stay in a religious institution I think often does real, active harm to people in the margins? There are lots of reasons (including that I actually do think the real, active benefits in the world outweigh the harms). But this passage is part of it too. I don’t think keeping silence or taking a privilege-fueled escape will make the difference I need. Perhaps I have come to this point in my faith journey for such a time as this.
“The way everlasting”
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any hurtful way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting.”
(Psalm 139:23-24)
This scripture became a prayer this year that I’ve repeated in silence over and over. The King James Version doesn’t capture the same power for me, so it also highlighted the benefit of trying out a different translation. I like that the wrong way is identified with being “hurtful” which gave me a good question to ask of myself in a lot of situations. Am I being hurtful? I’m I supporting something hurtful? And what is the “way everlasting” here? Can I find it? And if I pray for it, can God supply it? Skipping over a little complexity to that question, I think maybe he can. At least, directing my thoughts this way has helped me find less-hurtful ways to behave toward my family, acquaintances, and society.
All is vanity
“In my vain life I have seen everything; there are righteous people who perish in their righteousness, and there are wicked people who prolong their life in their evildoing. Do not be too righteous, and do not act too wise; why should you destroy yourself? Do not be too wicked and do not be a fool; why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of the one, without letting go of the other; for the one who fears God shall succeed with both.” (Ecclesiastes 7:15-18)
I started coming to the conclusion that the main point of most scripture is to identify why stuff happens. Like, on the one hand, everything that happens had a certain probability of happening before it happened. But alternatives also had a probability of happening. What made one outcome occur over another? What is the inciting influence in the cosmos? One thing? Many? Nothing? And is there any way to influence the outcome by appeal to that inciting influence? I think Ecclesiastes has the most convincing answers. God (the 3-letter answer to all those questions) is inherently unpredictable. So just do your best. Don’t destroy yourself trying to be too righteous or wise. Don’t die in the grasp of sinful indulgence, and try to find a way through that is meaningful to you. It’s all vanity anyway.
“Whatever your hand finds to do”
“Go, eat your bread with enjoyment, and drink your wine with a merry heart; for God has long ago approved what you do. Let your garments always be white; do not let oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that are given you under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do with your might; for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.” (Ecclesiastes 9:7-10)
I could maybe get these verses tattooed somewhere. In a world full of vanity, just live your life to the fullest. Whatever your hand finds to do (write, read, think, crochet, draw, read tarot, cook, bake, love, all of it), do with your might. We’re all going to die and, as Emily Dickenson wrote, “forever is composed of nows.”
“Let us argue it out”
“Come now, let us argue it out, says the LORD;
though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be like snow;
though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”
(Isaiah 1:18)
The NRSV translation of this verse thrills me. Sometimes I feel guilty arguing with God. But it seems like Isaiah is not only giving me permission. He’s acknowledging that the only way through to salvation is through the hard work of arguing it out with the Lord. As a natural contrarian. I need that.
The suffering servant
“Surely he has borne our infirmities and carried our diseases;
yet we accounted him stricken, struck down by God and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the punishment that made us whole,
and by his bruises we are healed.”
(Isaiah 53:4-5)
I did some deep study on the servant songs found in second Isaiah. And I think I should get my thoughts organized into a longer post of some kind. The songs are generally thought to be connected, and there is disagreement as to whom they refer to. It could be Moses, Jeremiah, Isaiah, even Israel itself, but none of these historical figures seem to really capture the details of the songs. I actually think Jesus comes close, which makes these songs the only time I really felt the uncontrollable urge to christianize the Hebrew text. What I really think is going on here, is that contrary to expectation, Jesus died, and New Testament authors ingeniously reframed his narrative to fit certain messianic prophecies and these songs to marvelously inspiring effect.
Sexy Camels
“How can you say, ‘I am not defiled, I have not gone after the Baals’?
Look at your way in the valley; know what you have done—
a restive young camel interlacing her tracks, a wild ass at home in the wilderness,
in her heat sniffing the wind! Who can restrain her lust?
None who seek her need weary themselves;
In her month they will find her.”
(Jeremiah 2:23-24)
Camels like the one described here really captured my attention for a while, and they inspired me to write possibly my best scriptural writing. And it’s probably not what you expect. You can find that writing here:
https://jchandle.blogspot.com/2022/10/loving-passionate-sexy-camels-and-other.html
Suffice it to say for now that I think a camel in heat is a great way to describe Israel and I’m glad ancient Israel was like that.
“To sit alone in silence”
“It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for one to bear the yoke in youth,
to sit alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it,
to put one’s mouth to the dust (there may yet be hope),
to give one’s cheek to the smiter and to be filled with insults.”
(Lamentations 3:26-30)
The spirit turned off for me like a light in 2020, and while I get flickers, I still feel like I’m in that period. But I’m starting to feel grateful for this period of silence. Maybe it will come back on (I hope in new ways), but if that day comes, I hope that I don’t lose the skills I’m gaining while sitting alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it.
Three Themes of the Prophets
“He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
(Micah 6:8)
I think this verse encapsulates so much of the Bible’s prophetic writings, and hangs it around your neck like a talisman. Do justice: actively seek a just society, and actively do what justice requires. Love Hesed: the hebrew word for covenant loyalty is more than just lovingkindness. It encapsulates the love God has for his people and the love his people are supposed to return to him and emulate in the world. Walk humbly with your God: balance surety in God’s approval of your deeds and your weakness in understanding the will of God.
I don’t know. I think it just packs a lot to think about into a little space.
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