jchandle writes

  Me: I’m not sure I actually believe in God anymore.  Also Me: let’s stay up late and read the Bible! Faith journeys are wild. Mine is progressing slower than I’d like. But if you’re curious for an update, this post might help you there. I also think some of my thoughts might be helpful to others. If you find that to be the case, please let me know, because I’m lonely a lot in my particular path and so I’m desperate to hear from people who relate even a little.  I do also recognize that some people who relate to me in some ways with what's below, might have VERY different reactions to some of what I am finding sustaining or challenging. That's okay, and I think your reactions to these are valid--even if they are the opposite of mine. Quotes sustaining my faith lately Real faith “Real faith, life-changing faith, Abrahamic faith is always in crisis. That’s how you find out if it’s faith at all. I promise you that more faith will mean less crisis until finally God says ‘wel...

I don't know if I would pick these as my "favorite" every time, but these are the scripture passages that ran through my mind involuntarily the most throughout 2022. They are the verses that stuck with me long after I was done reading their section of scripture.   Let me know what yours are and why! “Deep and terrifying darkness” “As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram, and a deep and terrifying darkness descended upon him.” (Genesis 15:12)  After being promised repeatedly that the land of Canan would be his, the first dream-revelation of the Bible is the dark truth that the promises of God are sometimes only found long after the trial of faith and even after life extinguishes. Reading verses like this sucks because I fear that darker periods will last much longer than I want or that I am led to believe they will. But there’s also a bittersweet comfort in knowing that these feelings were shared by believers from the beginning.  The God of Israel “The...

  “A multitude of camels shall cover you. . .  All the flocks of Kedar shall be gathered to you, the rams of Nebaioth shall minister to you.” (Isaiah 6:6-7) I can’t stop thinking about Isaiah 60:6-7. I know it’s supposed to symbolize the nations paying tribute to Israel, metonymically and actually through animal offerings. But I’m enjoying imagining it detached from its cultural context.  Are you ever caught with your bank account at its limit–an important bill just out of your financial reach? Maybe you’re stranded on the side of the road with a broke-down engine. Maybe your card was just declined with a week’s worth of groceries on the cashier’s belt. Here come the camels. They’ll cover you.  You hear one braying from just out of sight. Then another comes around the corner. They and a third camel mosey purposefully to the checkout counter where you stand, declined card in hand, full of embarrassment. One of the camels spits on the grocer’s scale. You can smell hi...

  “ Come now, let us argue it out,      says the Lord” - Isaiah 1:18 (NRSV) Here’s a question that’s been on my mind for several months: is faith a choice? For every question of truth, you can gather all the evidence on both sides and depending on the quality and quantity of evidence, you believe one side or the other. But what’s happening when being convinced happens? Do you consciously select a side to believe or do you just believe what you believe as a natural response to the evidence processed? Is the verdict a decision or is it more like a shiver in the cold or sweat in the sun?  I’ve judged enough High School debate rounds to say that there definitely are belief-decisions that are consciously made. As a judge, I have to write an “RFD” or “reason for decision” indicating why I chose to side with the affirmative or the negative. But even then, sometimes my decision and its reason is contrary to what I actually believe. In spite of the way the debate ad...

  Centering When Life Begins I’ve seen a few posts/videos on social media warning people not to let arguments about reproductive rights be centered around when life begins. The argument made by these posts is very good, and it goes approximately like this:  “The question of when life begins is totally irrelevant. No one is entitled to your body, even if access to your body is necessary for their sustained life. For example, imagine a person needed an organ transplant, and your organ was the only available match. While it might be a good moral choice to donate the organ, you cannot morally be forced to give up your organ for the other person’s wellbeing.” Like I said, I personally think this is a very good argument, but I don’t think it’s as powerful a tool for convincing the other side as some people make it out to be.  For one, the organ donation analogy is not a perfect analog with pregnancy and abortion. To illustrate, notice the similarities in a second, parallel anal...

  This is the talk I gave in church on Mothers day. When I gave the talk, I cut about a 3rd of it for time, so this has a few more examples and a little more elaboration in some parts. Funny enough, at the pulpit, I didn’t even mention my wife! Also worth noting for the history books: I heavily reorganized the talk a few hours before church. Then I gave my phone to my son to distract him while I was on the stand. I brought my laptop with me to give the talk but then realized that I’d never brought my laptop to church before so it didn’t have access to the wifi and therefore didn’t have access to the new draft in google docs! So I started this talk by freaking out a minute and asking the bishopric for the wifi password.  Eve , whose birth is the crowning event of six initial periods of creation, and who saw beyond the literal conditions set before her to imagine and then attain a better world. My Sixth Great Grandmother on my father’s side, Johannetta Elisabetha Mai , who left ...